Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
