She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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