why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Randomize
