i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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