it's like iHOP with fire
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
you made out with another girl for some wings
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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