Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize