Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
