The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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