my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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