I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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