How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
