Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
