is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
