I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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