you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
