4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
