don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You need a sexual gate keeper
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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