plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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