This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
