i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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