Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
