Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
