Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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