Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
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