i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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