I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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