I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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