Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
