Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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