dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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