I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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