Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize