you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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