Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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