i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
