the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
