I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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