..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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