You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
