All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
