We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
