The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
