He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
