They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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