He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
