i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
