i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize