We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize