There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
