This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
