I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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