Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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