I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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