she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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