I won't be sarcastic... just naked
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
