margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
