The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
