I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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