i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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