I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
