Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
