Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
