Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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